How to design an intentional life

How to design an intentional lifeHow to design an intentional lifeREAD ON TO DISCOVERWhy we cant effectively lead from emptyThe leadership lessons we can learn from parentingHow to balance the different accounts in our lives for the betterMichael Hyattis the Founder and CEO of Michael Hyatt Company, an online leadership development company dedicated to helping high achievers win at work and succeed at life. Formerly the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, Michael is also theNew York Timesbestselling author ofPlatform Get Noticed in a Noisy Worldand the co-author ofLiving Forward A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want. He recently joinedRyan Hawk, host ofThe Learning Leader Show, to discuss how to lead fully, in all aspects of your life.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThis conversation has been edited and condensed. To listen to Michael and Ryans full conversation ,click here.RyanI have a question about leaders that youve spent timewith who have sustained excellence. From your perspective, what are some of the common themes or characteristics those people all share?MichaelOne of the top qualities is that excellent leaders have the ability to lead themselves. Self-leadership is the prerequisite or the foundation for leadership- if you cant lead yourself, you dont have the right to lead anybody else. There is also a measure of discipline, particularly when it comes to work-life balance. Its elend a sprint- they know that if they are successfulat the expense of their health or most important relationships, then ultimately thats going to cascade into their career.I think most people have that kind of balance. They go at it hard, but they are also able to retreat and take care of themselves and the people that they love most. Those are two attributes, certainly, that the successful leaders I know exhibit.Self-leadership is the prerequisite or the foundation for leadership- if you cant lead yourself, you dont have the right to lead anybody else.RyanIt feels to me that you balance those attributes quite well. I noticed that one of your recent blog posts welches on a recent two-week social media hiatus you did with your family. Id love to hear you expand upon what that two-week hiatus did for you and, if possible, how others could potentially do the same.MichaelFor the last five years, weve taken a month off in the summer, completely unplugged and really focused on things other than work. Its opened up a whole world of other things- activities, hobbies, reading. I find that when I can fill the cognitive or relational well, that tischsets me up to win when I get back, because my tank is full. Too many leaders are trying to lead from empty. Thats just not a good distribution policy to be- somethings going to blow up in your life if you lead from empty for too long.Too many leaders are trying to lead from empty.RyanWhat about peop le who have a full-time jobworking for somebody else? What advice do you give to that person, who has less flexibility?MichaelI would challenge them to ask themselves, Is this a constraint thats being imposed externally? Or is it a constraint thats internal, because you have this expectation of yourself, or you think that its necessary to get an edge on everybody else?Look at the performance of professional athletes- they practice a lot, but theyve got a lot of downtime. One of the things that Ive noticed among all the elite athletes is that they prioritize sleep and rest. They know that if theyre going to perform atpeak performance, theyve got to take care of their own bodies and their own psychology, so that when they get on the field, they can really kill it.Particularly for high achievers, when theyre at work, theyre also thinking about home or some health problem that may be dogging them. And vice versa- when theyre at the doctor, theyre thinking about whats not getting done at work. Prioritizing rest and vacations and time off allows you to be fully present, which, in this culture, is a strategic advantage. If you can be present in the conversations youre having at work- youre able to listen well, youre not distracted by personal problems- youre going to get ahead.Stress it the enemy of performance. Ive got a big family, five daughters, and one of the things I set as a non-negotiable was leaving the office at six oclock every night. The idea that youve got to choose one or the other is a false dichotomy what if you could design a life that attended to all of those things?Prioritizing rest and vacations and time off allows you to be fully present, which, in this culture, is a strategic advantage.RyanFive daughters, man. Well probably have to have another conversation because my wife and I are also raising five daughters.MichaelAre you really?RyanYeah, their ages are nine to two, so its a little bit different, but we know weve got a lot coming for us in th e future. Were there moments where you said, I dont know what Im doing or Im lost? What was it like through some of those years, and when were there tough moments?MichaelI think thats what every parent feels, because you dont get any training in this. Suddenly this bundle of joy shows up, and nobody has given you the owners manual, and youve got to figure it out as you go. The biggest issue is parents who abdicate responsibility. If you can stay engaged, and keep the channels of communication open, and try to listen without judgment, that is really wise. I think the goal of parenting is to de-parent- youre preparing them to be on their own. Which, by the way, is a great leadership lesson. Ive learned so much from my daughters- theyre some of my best teachers now.I think the goal of parenting is to de-parent- youre preparing them to be on their own. Which, by the way, is a great leadership lesson.RyanIve read your bookPlatform Get Noticed in a Noisy Worldmultiple times, and the reaso n I love it is because its literally a playbook, where you can implement as you go. How did you put this book together?MichaelI was the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, the seventh-largest publishing company in the US. I worked at the company 17 years, but I became the CEO for five years, and then the chairman for one year beyond that. Then we sold the company to HarperCollins.Back in 2004, I started blogging. Id written before, and I thought, You know, this blogging thing looks really cool, and this may be a way for me to share some of the lessons Ive learned, and maybe get the visibility of the company up on the internet.For the first four years, I had about 1,000 readers a month. Then I hit an inflection point in 2008 when I went to 20,000 unique visitors a month, and its grown every year since. Really,Platformwas my attempt to deconstruct what I did, and to help people that had something important to say or to sell, but had no clue how to get heard.RyanA lot of people are workin g toward leadership roles at a company they love, but also have ideas in addition to their daily work. What is your advice for people who say, I have a good job, but I also have bigger ideas, so I think I need to have some sort of platform?MichaelThe most important thing to do is to start. I used to think, as recovering perfectionist, that I had to figure it all out and get it right at the beginning, and not launch until I got it right. The great thing about the internet today is that you can launch and tweak- Ive approached everything Ive done in that way.An online platform gives people an opportunity to know how you think. It establishes your authority, and as you add value to their lives, it begins to build trust.RyanWhen you mentor others, whether its in publishing or any business, what are some of the things we could learn from you, from a career perspective?MichaelIt almost seems trivial, but when youre dealing with corporations, a lot of times youre dealing with people that a re embedded in a bureaucracy, and theyre slow to respond. One of the things that I decided to do early in my career that I think gave me a tremendous edge was to be hyper-responsive to people.I didnt want my clients, who at that time were mostly authors, or bookstores, to have the experience where it took me 48 hours to get back to them. Irespondedto them almost immediately, even if all I could say was, Look, I dont have an answer for you yet, but I got your message. Im on it. People really appreciated that, because people that are outside your organization want to do business faster.I think the other thing is also having courage to act. So many people in corporations think their hands are tied. Its got to be calculated, but there are times when youve got to operate by the maxim of, Its easier to give forgiveness than to give permission.Another thing is always, always, always keeping your word. Even when it becomes inconvenient, expensive, or just a hassle. Stephen Covey said this, and I think hes right Honesty is when we make our words line up with reality, but integrity is when we make reality line up with our words.Honesty is when we make our words line up with reality, but integrity is when we make reality line up with our words.RyanLets press forward a little bit to what youre doing now. What brought you to write this book,Living Forward A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want, with Daniel Harkavy?MichaelIn 2001, I had taken on a new assignment- I was a general manager for one of the divisions at Thomas Nelson. It was a big job, and out of fourteen divisions, that division was dead last in every possible financial metric. The good nachrichten for me was, I couldnt screw it up- I could only make it better. In 18 months, we went from number fourteen to number one in the company, but it came at a big cost. I was working like crazy, I had stopped working out, I wasnt eating well. I finally said to John Maxwell, who was one of our authors and a mentor of mine, John, weve got all these great results, but heres the cost, man. I see where the trend line is going, and I know Im going to have a health crisis or a marriage crisis or something if I dont get this tended to.He said, You need an executive coach, somebody that has your best interest in mind, and I want to recommend Daniel Harkavy, who became my co-author for that book. The very first thing we did wasgo through a process of life planning. He had me answer three really powerful questions. The first was, How do you want to be remembered? Fast forward to the end of your life- imagine its your funeral. Whos sitting in the room, and what do you want those people to say about you?Then we went through this next question Whats important to you? I knew what was important to my boss, I knew what was important to my wife- but I never really asked the question, Whats important to me? That gave me a clear filter to be able to say yes to the things that are good for me and for my family, and no to the things that arent.The third question was, How do you get from where you are to where you want to be? This is kind of the 30,000-foot view of What do I want? We used this metaphor in the book- imagine, just like you have a bank account, that you have accounts for different aspects of your life Youve got a health account, a marriage account, a parenting account. What is the condition of those accounts, and how can you grow them so that theres a surplus?Youve got a health account, a marriage account, a parenting account. What is the condition of those accounts, and how can you grow themso that theres a surplus?Part of that begins with getting really honest about where you are now. Youve got to know where you are, and then youve got to know where you want to go, what the destination is. What would my marriage look like if I was intentional, and really worked with my spouse to create an incredible relationship? What would my health look like? What would happen if I was in the best shape of my life? What would have to happenfor me to have a career that I love?Thats what the book is about- getting that 30,000-foot view, taking a real assessment of your life,figuring out where you want to go, and thenplanning how to get there.This article originally appeared on Heleo.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people